I came across an insightful take on marriage that I want to share with you all. I can't copy and paste it so I'm going to do my best to take my time and re write it from the email. Here goes:
Hey, I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthens me! I figured out how to copy and paste the parts I wanted to share in the email. Here it is:

"The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in


love with a personality, but we must live with a

character."

- Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this

statement if we understand what is meant by

CHARACTER.

"Personality" is easy to understand. Your

"personality" is how people experience you. It's

your public persona.

But what is "character?" And why is "character"

so crucial in your marriage?

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

Let me say that again so you can read it slowly

and really digest it this time.

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

You see, when you and your spouse met, you met

each other's PERSONALITIES. You showed your

spouse and you were shown by your spouse your

public personas. I'm not saying you tricked each

other. It's just your personality; how you

display yourself to others.

But marriage lasts too long in too close quarters

for anyone to sustain a public persona.

Personalities eventually give way to an INNER

SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And

there you each stand, naked as if no one is

watching. But someone is watching. And that's

when you meet for the first time...again!

You and your spouse don't meet the person who

charmed each other's friends, bought gifts for

each other's parents, and always smiled from ear

to ear. No, this time it's a meeting of your

CHARACTERS.

In many cases, it's not only that you're meeting

each other for the first time, but it's that

you're meeting YOURSELVES for the first time.

Most people wouldn't be caught dead treating

anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most

people don't recognize their own behavior. "I'm

just not myself with him/her." Well then who is

that person? Wendy, that's YOU...it's

your character. (And your spouse meets their

character.)

The reason so many people fail at marriage and an

attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they

don't like their spouse. It's that they don't

like THEMSELVES. And while everyone else in their

life is like a mirror reflecting their

personality; their spouse is a mirror reflecting

their character. And most people don't like what

they see.

Many people would rather choose to be with

someone else than remain with their spouse and

have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you

get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century

manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as

follows: "You are as much a real person as you

are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the

interior is twice as important as the surface.

There are people who are all facade, like a house

left unfinished when the funds run out. They have

the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a

cottage."

Wendy, marriage renewal and individual

character development go hand-in-hand.
 
I hope you got as much out of this as I have. That is, if you have a need to better understand the growth and changes that occur in marriage as time tolls on.
 
I also find that these concepts can apply to friendships as well. The more we get to know those closer to us the more we begin to see there character and less of there persona.
 
Also in thinking about this I have come to the conclusion that when I lost my long time sponsor due to us growing too close; it occurred to me that she could love me enough to tell me the truth about what she perceives in me ~ good and bad. I will continue to look for another sponsor, (because I know she has way too much going on in her life right now to take on complicated me to the extent that I need it) but I'm praying that GOD will send me someone at least close to the person she is. I couldn't imagine it happening if it weren't for the fact that I know All things are possible with GOD. If HE doesn't make a way for her to do it; HE will provide someone else that can. For he knows my heart and my desires to grow in this program spiritually, emotionally, and maturity etc.....
 
Well, my word for you today comes from II Samuel 22:31-34
 
31: As for GOD HIS word is perfect; the word of the LORD is perfect; HE is a buckler to all them that trust HIM.
32: For who is GOD, save3 THE LORD? and who is a rock, save our GOD?
33: GOD is my strength and power: and HE maketh my way perfect.
34: HE maketh my feet as hind feet: and setteth me upon my high places.
 
What a blessing to know that He loves me so that He is my all in all. HE is the GREAT I AM.  GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of THE LORD FOREVER!
Amen and prayers to you all, Wendy