Alright, I've accomplished VERY LITTLE but did speak with my old sponsor and she instructed me to spend 30 minutes writing about what I get out of helping others that could/should help themselves. Here goes:
I feel better about me when I'm helping someone.
It makes me feel like I'm smart and capable when I help.
I feel like I am dependable.
Helping others gives me a feeling of being superior.
I desire the 'thatagirl' comment.
I want people to like me.
I don't want to see their dissapointment when I say no.
I deceive myself into thinking I'm the only one that can do it right.
I don't want to let others down.
It makes me feel needed.
It makes me feel wanted.
It makes me feel desired.
It makes me feel special.
Helping others builds my self esteem.
It gives me a sense of purpose.
It gives me a false sense of control.
It just plain makes me feel good to help others, even when I know I shouldn't be doing it, which brings on guilt for having an Al Anon slip and so then I try to justify it.
I'm all out of thougthts, except that I pray I'll be able to get over my self destruction caretaking habit.
I'm going to start trying to get some more work done in the house while I wait for her to call back.
Keeping it Simple.... Lorraine
No comments:
Post a Comment