Mine and Carrie's Road Trip

This was my first full day back since my respite with Carrie. We went to Luray's and had a blast. The only problem was how short it was. We arrived well after Midnight Friday night and left early in the afternoon on Sunday.
We sat up and ate something and talked for a bit Friday night or rather Saturday's wee hours of the morning.
     We woke up a bit after 8 Saturday morning. Sat around and talked a bit, got ready to leave and sat out to go flea marketing. We got great deals. Carrie and I couldn't believe it. These folks were practically giving stuff away. I got Anthony some racing things, a straw Marlboro hat, and an aluminum cigarette case. I got the boys bags and bags of the shaped rubber bands. Here they are $2.99 - $3.49 per bag of 12. There, they were a buck per bag! I also got them a New Moon poster.
     I bought all kinds of little items back for Wandagail. I could tell she was disappointed in the fact that I got some shelves that Luray gave me and a glass bath shelf (for $3.00!!!) for myself but I have given her a lot and even though I'd tell you I don't feel a twinge of guilt about not giving it to her; I'd be lying. I stuck to my plans to dress up my bathroom in my bedroom though and I'm proud I said no.
     I got Jim a toothpick holder with Mayberry on Main on it. Their phone #'s listed as 1-877-Ernest T! I got Anthony one too but I'm gonna' give them both to Jim, so he can put one in his truck and keep one on him. That way if he forgets to grab the one to carry; he'll have a back up in the truck.
I got Carrie Mae an autographed copy of a John Wayne photo, a pendant that has Mount Airy or Mayberry on it (I'm not sure if it's one or both),a milk glass bowl, an antique Pepsi sign, and a few other odds and ends.
She got me a Mayberry-opoly game. I wanted the trivia game but they were all sold out of those and they have been discontinued. I'm gonna' keep the monopoly game unopened. She got me a big box or jewelry and jewelry making supplies that were worth at least $50. for $2.00!, and a set of beautiful coasters. I'm sure I'm leaving something out besides the Road Trip itself and the gift of 2 days and 2 nights of respite well needed. Plus, she allowed James to ride with us and we dropped him off in Winston Salem where his Uncle Bruce picked him up. The trip there was a voyage. The Bing map I printed out gave us a right where we should have taken a left and we ended up in the town called Hendersonville. I think that's what it was called. Any way, after that Carrie got very anxious and missed one exit and took another wrong one. It took us almost 2 times as long to get there as it took us to get home. Of course, I drove back. I had to talk her into letting me do it but afterwards, she was very glad I did.
Luray gave me all sorts of things, to keep and to sell. Some I gave Wandagail, most I'll sell, a bit I'll keep. The shelves for my bathroom she gave me, some of her extra slate rocks for my flower beds she had, both a beautiful CZ butterfly necklace and earring set, a few tiny little vases, but my most favorite things are 3 towels she gave me. Two are matching butterfly towels and then there's a gorgeous one that's blue with a lace trim on the bottom with flower designs in it. The blue is for Anthony and the pink lacy flower trim on the bottom is for me.
   I know it sounds silly, but I want to give Anthony some things in the bedroom and bathroom that represent him when I get it redone. I can't wait to get all of this stuff out of here. My stuff to sell, and all of Jimmy, James, and Wandagails' stuff. I've got a BUNCH of boys clothes to sell. I think I put the shirts for sale for $0.25 and $0.50 for the pants. Perhaps if they get 10 items I'll sell 10 shirts for $2. or 10 pants for $4.  I sure pray I do well this weekend. I'm excited and the most exciting part is getting most of this stuff out of my house and making more of less. Less IS More !!!
I'm getting tired so I'll take a break here and tell y'all about the rest of our respite tomorrow.
In the mean time The word of the day and my prayer, (and Luray's and Wandagail's, and Carrie Mae's,) for at least the next 30 days is:

THE PRAYER OF JABEZ

Dear Father I pray:

Oh, that THOU wouldest bless me indeed,

 and enlarge my coast.

and that THINE hand might be with me, and that THOU wouldest keep me from evil,

that it may not grieve me!

If you'd like it'd be GREAT to have any of you reading my blog join us in praying this prayer for at least the next 30 days it would be a blessing, both to you and us.

Night all ~ Sleepy Lorraine

A lot Done Little noticed

I feel like I've accomplished a lot in the house today, even though you can barely tell it. Just goes to show when you have a big mess, a little cleaning doesn't go far. All in all though, I feel good about getting so much done. Even if no one else notices it; I know it's been done.
My sponsor told me that I'm never gonna' get sober in Al Anon if I don't quit drinking Anthony. I know she's right and I do really well at times, but others, not so much. It's all good though 'cause this too is a program of progress and not perfection.
Luray is following my blog now and I finally am beginning to get some comments or as I like to call them: words of wisdom.
I am exhausted and should be sleeping but I accidently let the boys' night time meds run out and they have been wide open fussing, fighting, arguing, kicking, and A.J. even spit on one of the others. God's man helped me and we finally got them down about ten min. ago. And now that it's peaceful and quiet I'm too anxious to sleep. I figured blogging would help relax me.
This was a day the LORD had made and in it I have rejoiced and been glad in it. At least more than not.
Anthony and I had a good talk. I don't know how much good it did for him, but it surely did a lot for me to just get it out and in the open.
I pray fervently each day of my life that he will hit his bottom soon and start to trudge down this road of happiness.
In II Samuel 23:2 ~ The SPIRIT of THE LORD spake by me, and HIS word was in my tongue. 
GOD bless and keep you all and my the LORD speak by you also and HIS word be in your tongue! Amen 
 ~ Lorraine

WHAT NEXT?

I have chosen to write in blue tonight because that's the mood I'm in. I have allowed my husband's disrespect and his alienating of himself from our family to deeply hurt me to the inner most center of my heart and soul. The thought of taking enough pills to make them put me into a mental ward (mind you not to commit suicide: I have NO desire to die). I just want to get away and straighten my thoughts out and spend time alone with GOD and HIS word in prayer trying to figure out what the next right thing to say/do/decide is.
I did at least (for what it's worth) let him know how I feel. I am not going to do anything stupid like take a lot of pills, it's just a fleeting thought of escape.
I think that if Carrie Mae and I get to go to see Luray next weekend, that will help tremendously.
My soon to be GODly man, (I do know and believe in my heart that GOD will continue to draw him to HIMSELF through HIS SPIRIT until he has no choice but to let go and give his will and life over to GOD), anyway he has completely avoided me for weeks on end now whenever possible, refuses to take part in any family happenings, and jumps at the chance to get out of the house with anyone else that offers whether it's to work on the side or go visit/help someone out, or like tonight he's gone floundering. It's not that I mind his absence. It's actually a very welcomed break from having him be the way he is lately, which is progressingly worsening day by day. It's the ignoring me and when he's not he's degrading me and treating me either like a dog or a child-ordering me around and telling me, never asking me to do things.
I'm convinced that to an extent some of these things are due to his not feeling welcomed in his own home anylonger, but he's the one that is teaching people how to treat him. My part in it is falling back into the trap of treating him the way he does me more than treating him with compassion, understanding, love, and mostly the way I want him to treat me.
I can do nothing right in his eyes either.
Another thing is that with everything going on inside of me lately; I have not been a good wife in the way that he deserves. He does work hard and even though the fact that he is financially doing his part and he cooks more than not (because he likes to) there's not another thing I can say good about him and who he's become lately. I know from the experience of having suffered from this disease actively myself that it is not something there's an easy soft or simple fix for, but I also know that he knows where to find the help he needs and just ain't ready for it yet.
Well, I've vented enough. Thanks for letting me get this all out and not judging me, but if you have any words of wisdom on the subject; PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME!
On another note, I found out that my 2 youngest children have been smoking. I made them eat cigarettes as a consequence. I don't think they'll be smoking again anytime soon. They both puked. The oldest just layed his head over the top bunkbed and let it flow. He called his Daddy who in turn came outside to get me where I was cleaning in the yard and told me, "You need to get in there and take care of your son!" I think that was the last straw for me where he was concerned for today cause that's when I thought through what I was going to say as I cleaned the mess up and boy did I let it all out~quick,short, and vehemently. Then I simply walked away. I refused to discuss it with him any longer except to reply to his usual "I love you with all my heart" with "You can say that 'til dooms day but until you show it; it has no meaning whatsoever"
Alright, I'm done for the night.
May GOD bless us everyone with HIS grace, mercy, wisdom, and the integrity to do the next right thing. ~Lorraine

I came across an insightful take on marriage that I want to share with you all. I can't copy and paste it so I'm going to do my best to take my time and re write it from the email. Here goes:
Hey, I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthens me! I figured out how to copy and paste the parts I wanted to share in the email. Here it is:

"The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in


love with a personality, but we must live with a

character."

- Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this

statement if we understand what is meant by

CHARACTER.

"Personality" is easy to understand. Your

"personality" is how people experience you. It's

your public persona.

But what is "character?" And why is "character"

so crucial in your marriage?

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

Let me say that again so you can read it slowly

and really digest it this time.

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

You see, when you and your spouse met, you met

each other's PERSONALITIES. You showed your

spouse and you were shown by your spouse your

public personas. I'm not saying you tricked each

other. It's just your personality; how you

display yourself to others.

But marriage lasts too long in too close quarters

for anyone to sustain a public persona.

Personalities eventually give way to an INNER

SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And

there you each stand, naked as if no one is

watching. But someone is watching. And that's

when you meet for the first time...again!

You and your spouse don't meet the person who

charmed each other's friends, bought gifts for

each other's parents, and always smiled from ear

to ear. No, this time it's a meeting of your

CHARACTERS.

In many cases, it's not only that you're meeting

each other for the first time, but it's that

you're meeting YOURSELVES for the first time.

Most people wouldn't be caught dead treating

anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most

people don't recognize their own behavior. "I'm

just not myself with him/her." Well then who is

that person? Wendy, that's YOU...it's

your character. (And your spouse meets their

character.)

The reason so many people fail at marriage and an

attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they

don't like their spouse. It's that they don't

like THEMSELVES. And while everyone else in their

life is like a mirror reflecting their

personality; their spouse is a mirror reflecting

their character. And most people don't like what

they see.

Many people would rather choose to be with

someone else than remain with their spouse and

have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you

get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century

manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as

follows: "You are as much a real person as you

are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the

interior is twice as important as the surface.

There are people who are all facade, like a house

left unfinished when the funds run out. They have

the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a

cottage."

Wendy, marriage renewal and individual

character development go hand-in-hand.
 
I hope you got as much out of this as I have. That is, if you have a need to better understand the growth and changes that occur in marriage as time tolls on.
 
I also find that these concepts can apply to friendships as well. The more we get to know those closer to us the more we begin to see there character and less of there persona.
 
Also in thinking about this I have come to the conclusion that when I lost my long time sponsor due to us growing too close; it occurred to me that she could love me enough to tell me the truth about what she perceives in me ~ good and bad. I will continue to look for another sponsor, (because I know she has way too much going on in her life right now to take on complicated me to the extent that I need it) but I'm praying that GOD will send me someone at least close to the person she is. I couldn't imagine it happening if it weren't for the fact that I know All things are possible with GOD. If HE doesn't make a way for her to do it; HE will provide someone else that can. For he knows my heart and my desires to grow in this program spiritually, emotionally, and maturity etc.....
 
Well, my word for you today comes from II Samuel 22:31-34
 
31: As for GOD HIS word is perfect; the word of the LORD is perfect; HE is a buckler to all them that trust HIM.
32: For who is GOD, save3 THE LORD? and who is a rock, save our GOD?
33: GOD is my strength and power: and HE maketh my way perfect.
34: HE maketh my feet as hind feet: and setteth me upon my high places.
 
What a blessing to know that He loves me so that He is my all in all. HE is the GREAT I AM.  GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of THE LORD FOREVER!
Amen and prayers to you all, Wendy

You can't get to heaven on roller skates

In doing my 4th step in Al Anon; it's brought back a lot of childhood memories. Good ones mostly. In reminiscing about some of my fondest memories; this song came to my mind and the wonderful and exhilarated feelings of pure joy I recall feeling as we sang this and others (that I'm sure I'll find and share another day)



To all of you, a blessed and wonderful day ~ Lorraine

1 down & GOD only knows how many are left

One day down. Only GOD knows how many are left. I've really enjoyed my day. We frolicked on the beach for about 2 hours. Came home and cleaned the van out. Then Matthew & I took it to the car wash for a real cleaning. I let him sit on my lap and drive. He was so excited. He said that was the most awesome thing he's ever done. I let him do it all: brakes, accelerator, steering, even shifting gears. He was in heaven. It was a good time for us alone. It made me have a new perspective on life. How blessed we are and especially how blessed I am for GOD to have given me the ability to do these things with my children whom are also blessed as being healthy.
I do wish that AB would participate in our family goings, but I try to practice the 'act as if' scenario. As Ms.Jean says, I sometimes have to act as if I'm a widow and then live my life accordingly. It is a lot easier to speak than to do. At least emotionally and spiritually the practice of it is exhausting anyway.
I called Ms.Jean to ask her about my step meeting next month while I was on the beach. I was reading up on it and had some questions. She made me feel good and wholesome. She usually does have that affect on me.
After the step meeting in July for Al Anon; I will chair for my AA home group meeting in August. I will need to do an eighth tradition meeting on one of those Fridays. So, I've already began planning for those dates. I really look forward to them. They give me a sense of purpose. Not too much unlike the way being an enabler and/or care taker has. My desire is that eventually GOD will fill me with HIS SPIRIT, so overflowing with it, that I will not need anyone or anything else to give me that sense of well being and having a purpose that HE can give me perfectly. Each day of my life lately I feel that he fills more and more of that hole I have inside that we speak of in recovery.
This life, it is a journey with the destination known but only to the extent that he will allow us to see it. The thing though is that if I want to know more; I must work more. I have to do the foot work. Pray, Read the Bible, and apply the principles to my life little by slow, more and more each day. When I read the BIBLE I must do it with intent and purpose. The intention to hear what GOD is telling me and the purpose is to ask HIM to show me how to apply it in my life. It's a good life, it's the life GOD intended for me even the downs are a part of the whole of it and as always: all these things work for my good just because I am one of the called according to HIS purpose. Praise GOD in the HIGHEST. HIS mercy endures forever. Under the wing of THE ALMIGHTY do I abide.



Love and prayers to all sweet dreams &; good thoughts lead you into peaceful restful sleep ~ Lorraine

I'm back from my BIG adventure. Nothing lost, somethings gained. James got a big life raft boat, I got a pretty little shell and a flower. We also got a VERY sandy and messy van that I am going to go take a break by myself and clean it at the car wash. I want it to look nice. The way it looked when we left Matt's house after Anthony's Uncle Johnnie's funeral.
I emailed a lady about a posting for a part time temporary office assistant position. I am looking forward to hearing back from her. It's her name @sayhellocomfort Perhaps it's in a Comfort Inn Resort? Anyway, part time is perfect and temporary I can deal with.
Well, I'm off to be by myself to clean my van. 
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13
Love and Prayers, Lorraine

This is the day I will be blessed for my holding true to my promise. I promised the boys that I'd take them to the ocean today to meet up with them. I let them know I have 4 boys and sometimes more and Shaun told me 'No worries, we'll help you' so, today we will see how well that will work for the bunch of us.
I asked 'the man in the bed' this morning if he'd go with us. His remark was 'I haven't left or lost anything on that ocean.' So, I tried to make him want to go making sure he knew there would be a bunch of AAs there. That didn't work as usual. Each time I try to manipulate someone it backfires on me.
So, here I go setting out on what will surely be a very BIG adventure. Pray for our safety and for the children to be good.
I've been studying in the word this morning and reading my daily readers.-

Just for Today revised: pg.171
Just for today I will remember that my life is a miracle. Instead of resenting how busy I am, I will be thankful my life is so full.

Psalms 121:
A song of degrees. I will lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help.j
My help cometh from THE LORD  which made heaven and earth.
HE will not suffer thy foot to be moved, HE that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, HE that keepeth isreal shall not slumber or sleep.
THE LORD is thy keeper, THE LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
THE LORD shall preserve thee from all evil, HE shall preserve thy soul.
THE LORD preserve thy going out and thy going in for this time forth, and even for evermore.

So with these to start myself off with; I'm on to our preparations and then to our destination. FUN FUN FUN

Words of wisdom to live by

PROVERBS 10:21  THE LIPS OF THE RIGHTEOUS FEED MANY, BUT FOOLS DIE FOR WANT OF WISDOM.
HEBREWS 10:31 IT IS A FEARFUL THING TO FALL INTO THE HANDS OF THE LIVING GOD.
PROVERBS 111:10 THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM A GOOD UNDERSTANDING HAVE ALL THEY THAT DO HIS COMMANDMENTS: HIS PRAISE ENDURETH FOR EVER.
ROMANS 8:28 AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD, TO THEM WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.
1st CORINTHIANS 14:   32 AND THE SPIRITS OF THE PROPHETS ARE SUBJECT TO THE PROPHETS.   33 FOR GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION, BUT OF PEACE, AS IN ALL CHURCHES OF THE SAINTS.

Also, click on my link above for some more insight to women in the bible days

 Hope you all enjoyed the words from the BIGGEST BIG BOOK
Love and prayers to all ~ Lorraine

Getting Something Done...Little By Slow

Ok, after writing the last blog, I cleaned a bit in my living room, with Jim's help. Then I had the boys do their chores in the kitchen. My next project is to clean the rest of the living room and start on the main bath room.
   I also did one of the hardest things I've ever done. I let my new sponsor go, explaining to her that I'd prefer a more spiritual minded person and to meet with someone more often. She surprised me by agreeing and asking me if I'd still call her everyday. I said of course and told her she's one of the best friends I have. It went good, much better than I ever dreamed. I was nervous about it but at the same time I knew I had to do it.
Well, back to work. Love & Prayers to all, Lorraine

Why I am an enabling caretaker

Alright, I've accomplished VERY LITTLE but did speak with my old sponsor and she instructed me to spend 30 minutes writing about what I get out of helping others that could/should help themselves. Here goes:

I feel better about me when I'm helping someone.
It makes me feel like I'm smart and capable when I help.
I feel like I am dependable.
Helping others gives me a feeling of being superior.
I desire the 'thatagirl' comment.
I want people to like me.
I don't want to see their dissapointment when I say no.
I deceive myself into thinking I'm the only one that can do it right.
I don't want to let others down.
It makes me feel needed.
It makes me feel wanted.
It makes me feel desired.
It makes me feel special.
Helping others builds my self esteem.
It gives me a sense of purpose.
It gives me a false sense of control.
It just plain makes me feel good to help others, even when I know I shouldn't be doing it, which brings on guilt for having an Al Anon slip and so then I try to justify it.

I'm all out of thougthts, except that I pray I'll be able to get over my self destruction caretaking habit.
  I'm going to start trying to get some more work done in the house while I wait for her to call back.
Keeping it Simple.... Lorraine

Slothful at it's worst

I'm sitting here with Jim, Wandagail, A.J., and James wishing I was a Jeanie so I could cross my arms, and flip my head forward to make my home clean. I have decided that today is the day to get off my butt and do something about it. I've been depressed and in denial about it for way toooo long.
I missed my meeting last night. I slept right through it. I think that was the last straw with allowing myself to face the truth about my depression. I had laid down to nap before I had to leave to go to the bank. That was about 3:30 and I woke up at 7:00 this morning. Wandagail and Carrie suggested that I needed the rest. I don't know what I'd need it for though. All I've done lately is read the Bible, watch TV, meet with my Al Anon sponsor, go to meetings, and sit and sit and sit. I have been writing about it, praying about it, and talking about it, but  taken no action. Today is my day of action. I will leave this blog, go take a shower, and get busy. I'm going to start washing and hanging out clothes between cleaning the living room then move onto the main bathroom.
Pray for me to complete the living room and bathroom today. If I get that much done; I'll be happy that I've accomplished something.
Here I go..Proverbs 12:24 The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute. I SHALL BE DILIGENT AND NOT SLOTHFUL!!!!

First 1/2 Day of Summer

Today is the last day of school. I had to tell A.J. that he didn't pass first grade. He didn't take it well at all. I finally got him looking forward to Carrie and me teaching him 'summer school' though. I only pray we can have him ready for second grade by the end of the summer, after the fit he threw over being held back; I don't know what he'll do if he does all the work again over the summer and still don't get to go on to second grade. I know he is capable of doing the work. It's just a matter of getting him to do it. 
This was a big end of year for both Matthew and Christopher.
   Anthony and I went with Christopher to his 8th grade graduation last night. Then we brought Anthony home and I took Christopher out to eat at the local El Zarape restaurant. I really enjoyed our little 'alone' time together and ya' know; I think he did too.
   I went today to see Matthew's 5th grade graduation. He won an award for most improved in computer class, one for getting honor roll for this 9 weeks, one for honor roll for the year, and a scholarship for Camp Trinity. (He was one of 2 to receive this scholarship).
   He's spending the night tonight with his friend Guy. I'm glad he went. He's never spent the night anywhere away from home except for with his Grandmaw, Aunt Mona, or my girlfriend Glenda. He tried to stay the night with a neighbor once but ended up coming home. I pray he'll stay with Guy all night. It'll be good practice for camp.
   The scholarship for Camp Trinity! They even buy the gas for the trip to get him there and it's just in Pine Knoll Shores. I was so grateful the day they called and told me. I cried like a baby. I don't know what to think when GOD brings so many blessings to me and my family. HE does too, bless us that is.
   Well, it's time for me to go. It is getting time for us to get ready for the first night with no school left. I'm going to try to take them to pick strawberries this week and to the beach. Some of the folks from my home group invited me to bring the boys and go to the circle on Sundays. They said they go about every Sunday between 1 and 2 in the afternoon. I think we'll go this Sunday. It'll be nice for Jim & I to have other adults around. Especially since they're in program. That will be especially nice.
The WORD for today is Psalm 119 124
'Deal with THY servant according unto THY mercy, and teach me THY statutes.'
That is also my prayer for my life. I pray that GOD will fill my life with both HIS word and HIS mercy. If I allow HIM to do those things, I will be happy all the rest of my days.
   I made up a prayer to say over Christopher when he was a baby and have continued with each boy. I thought I'd write it in here in case they all grow out of me saying prayers with/for them without my ever saving it somewhere,(Christopher has already outgrown praying with Mommy).
   As you read it remember, I'm not a pro, just a Mommy with a prayer. Here goes:

Dear HEAVENLY FATHER, we come to YOU in the precious name of YOUR SON & our SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST, bless my boy(s) LORD, with peaceful, restful sleep, sweet dreams and good thoughts and help them always do YOUR will. Bless them and help them to think on the good things in life, of YOU and YOUR love and kindness, YOUR  generosity and gracious mercy. Above all else, help them to think of your protection, of the many, many angels that YOU send to protect them with, both day and night. Help them to think of those angels, their beauty and their strength, of YOU and YOUR shining light. Help them to think on these things and to have their thoughts lead them to peaceful, restful sleep and sweet, sweet dreams. We give YOU the praise, honor, and glory for all things in our lives and thank YOU for helping all of these things work together for our good. In JESUS name we pray and thank YOU, Amen 

And to you a good night as well - lorraine

My alone time is nearly over and I WANT MORE!

Hey everyone. I just wanted to grab a second, before the boys get home to let you know, in case any of you want to know, I have fixed my font on the previous posts now. It's taken me a while to figure out what I had done, (picked a BAD font, weblings, to be exact) but once I figured out what the problem was I attempted to fix it and today, I finally finished fixing all of them. I tell you this so you'll know there's some more to read if ya' want to, and by the way, I welcome any comments!
I didn't sleep well last night. Hardly at all actually. The last time I looked at the clock it was around 5:00 am and I was up at 6:35 and haven't went back to sleep, so perhaps I won't experience the same thing tonight.
We had a GREAT time at the beach with the boys yesterday. Jim & I took them. I prayed the whole way there for us to get a good parking space 'cause a neighborhood friend  had called before we left and let us know there was no where to park and some folks had gotten stuck in the sand where they were parking on the sides of the drive. We got in spot 7 of the FRONT row!! GOD is so good, ALL THE TIME!!!
 Jim got a bit frustrated with James a couple of times because of James' fears of being bit by a fish or cut by something on the floor of the ocean. I didn't tell Jim exactly how I felt about it. I did tell him not to let it get to him so much, but what I wanted to say was; "You and I are not getting in the water, so what's the big deal if he doesn't want to go back in?" I didn't get into it with him though, and eventually, James put his shoes on and got back in with him. Christopher mentioned to me that he'd told James that if he felt that bad about being in the water and was gonna' keep whining, he should just get out. I commented that now he was up there whining and aggravating his Daddy, so Christopher went to where they were on the blanket and encouraged James to do what his Dad had suggested, put his shoes on, and before we knew it; he was out there having fun again with the rest of them.  
   I had to pray a lot before we left to get rid of the meanness I felt towards Anthony for not coming with us. THE LORD helped me to focus more on the blessing of  having 3 healthy boys that could go and a Big Brother to help me with them instead of the fact that my husband didn't want to. Before I prayed however, I said a few things to let Anthony know how I felt, and it was just enough to make him defensive and by the time Jim & James dropped us off at the house afterwards and left to go take Wandagail to the store; Anthony was acting as mean as a two headed motengator. He tried the rest of the night to make us all miserable. It worked well enough at one point that A.J. asked me right in front of his Daddy, "When will I ever get able to buy a house so I can get one and be able to be away from him?" I told him to hush and not to talk so disrespectfully. Then when Anthony left the room I asked them all to try not to make it worse by making any more comments like they were making.
  So, once again I have earned the right to abide among the wise. See Proverbs 15:31
  Well, I've gotta' go get A.J. from school. They just called and told me that he refused to get on the bus. I'll write more later. Love & Prayers to y'all - Lorraine