The red font is perfect to help express my frustration today and frustration is putting it extremely mildly! I am angry at my selfish alcoholic husband who seems to think of our relationship what I think of fishing: 'It's a nice thing to know is there and I enjoy it, but I'll do it when its convenient for me.' Marriage shouldn't be this way. It should either be a constant or not at all. Then again, I'm not married to just any other man in the world. I'm married to one of the ones like me-only not sober but wet. Heck, he's more than wet, he's drowning in the stuff.
I have enjoyed the day though. I studied how to listen to GOD with Charles Stanley, enjoyed digging in a couple of my gardens (pretend graves for my husband) and my B.F.F. came by and we went down the road and walked through an old house that will soon be destroyed so a new one can be built in its place. There's nothing like going through an old house where years ago people used to live. We gathered a few collectibles and headed back to the house with BIG PLANS to go back prepared in the morning after the boys go to school. FINALLY, they return from Easter Break tomorrow. No, that's right, to be politically correct-it's Spring Break-yeah right, to heck with being politically anything or to be correct for that matter, just for today I want to be that fiery red headed part of me and say to heck with anything and everything that's not what I want it to be.
My brother and nephew are coming home today. Bitter sweet return to a place that they reluctantly call home lately. Jim will soon move out with his son - at least that's all of our hopes. Perhaps GOD will provide a way for this to happen sooner rather than later. It really will be best for all concerned. This small house got too small for our family when I found out I was pregnant with A.J. on the day the doctor was to sign papers for me to have a hysterectomy. Now, A.J. is 6 years old and it's even smaller than before. Now that Jim and James are here; it feels smaller and smaller every day.
It's been nice not having anyone here but Anthony, the boys, and myself since Luray went home. Its been quite and peaceful most of the time. There's still been the normal ruckus created by having 3 boys and an active alcoholic but peaceful and quite for me just the same.
I am hoping that either Anthony stays away tonight or at least calls to apologize before he comes home. I'd prefer he just stay away right now but with GOD's help; I'll deal with whatever comes the best I know how.
Christopher is cleaning the kitchen up and getting ready to cook supper for us. He's cooking spaghetti tonight. He likes to cook. I think he'll be like his Daddy and be the cooker in his family.
Matthew & A.J. just got back from going to the B.P. and getting shrimp bait to feed their crabs with. Christopher & A.J. caught them in the 'swamp' by the train-trussel earlier today.
I'm back. I've dug in the 'graves', watered some gifts, eaten supper, and am about to have the second of three baths done before bed time. I can't wait for that time of night to be here when I am alone with THE LORD and can listen to whatever HE has for me to hear.
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